Whimsical Placeholders

library(lipsum)

Classic Literature: Litipsum

The lipsum_literature() function is not really as “silly” as the other whimsical ipsum generators; it grabs excerpts from public domain classic literature like Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, and so on. Users can opt into paragraph and list tags, but don’t expect any more complicated elements than that.

example_lit <-
  lipsum_literature(
    n = 3L,
    tag = "p", # add p tags
    source = "dracula"
  ) # take from dracula

View Output

“At Purfleet, on a by-road, I came across just such a place as seemed to be required, and where was displayed a dilapidated notice that the place was for sale. It is surrounded by a high wall, of ancient structure, built of heavy stones, and has not been repaired for a large number of years. The closed gates are of heavy old oak and iron, all eaten with rust.

“The estate is called Carfax, no doubt a corruption of the old Quatre Face, as the house is four-sided, agreeing with the cardinal points of the compass. It contains in all some twenty acres, quite surrounded by the solid stone wall above mentioned. There are many trees on it, which make it in places gloomy, and there is a deep, dark-looking pond or small lake, evidently fed by some springs, as the water is clear and flows away in a fair-sized stream. The house is very large and of all periods back, I should say, to mediæval times, for one part is of stone immensely thick, with only a few windows high up and heavily barred with iron. It looks like part of a keep, and is close to an old chapel or church. I could not enter it, as I had not the key of the door leading to it from the house, but I have taken with my kodak views of it from various points. The house has been added to, but in a very straggling way, and I can only guess at the amount of ground it covers, which must be very great. There are but few houses close at hand, one being a very large house only recently added to and formed into a private lunatic asylum. It is not, however, visible from the grounds.”

When I had finished, he said:–

Celebrity Imppersonations: DevLorem

lipsum_actor() gives very little control over its output. However, the output is pretty fun - it gives a few paragraphs impersonating a famous actor or pop culture icon.

example_dev <- lipsum_actor(n = 5L)

View Output

Michael Caine

With respect, Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don’t fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anyone who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.

It means your hatred. And it also means losing someone that I have cared for since I first heard his cries echo through this house. But it might also mean saving your life. And that is more important.

Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called “The Pledge.” The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course… It probably isn’t. The second act is called “The Turn.” The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… But you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call “The Prestige.”

You crossed the line first, sir. You hammered them. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand. Some men aren’t looking for anything logical. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Silly Metaphors: Metaphorpsum

The example_metaphor() function comes up with confusing metaphors. At a glance they read like English, but if readers dare look closer they’ll see they’re pretty nonsensical.

example_metaphor <-
  lipsum_metaphor(
    n_paras = 2L,
    n_sentences = 4L,
    p = FALSE
  ) # use p tags?

View Output

Fledgeling deads show us how salads can be plaies. A tablecloth can hardly be considered a dulcet viscose without also being a humidity. The seconds could be said to resemble ducal scrapers. Those pediatricians are nothing more than cousins.

The zeitgeist contends that those waiters are nothing more than signatures. A tarmac mother-in-law’s lilac comes with it the thought that the bustled dietician is a c-clamp. Framed in a different way, the crabbed back comes from a ruthful police. Nowhere is it disputed that they were lost without the sleepwalk lip that composed their bell.

Star Wars Quotes: Forcemipsum

The lipsum_starwars() function generates random quotes from the Star Wars trilogy films (Episodes 1-9). It can also generate lists of character or place names from the Star Wars universe.

example_starwars <-
  lipsum_starwars(
    n = 5L,
    content = "episode-4"
  )

View Output

Did you hear that? They’ve shut down the main reactor. We’ll be destroyed for sure. This is madness! We’re doomed! There’ll be no escape for the Princess this time. What’s that? Artoo! Artoo-Detoo, where are you? At last! Where have you been? They’re heading in this direction. What are we going to do? We’ll be sent to the spice mine of Kessel or smashed into who knows what! Wait a minute, where are you going? The Death Star plans are not in the main computer. Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans? We intercepted no transmissions. Aaah., This is a consular ship.

Now, don’t you forget this! Why I should stick my neck out for you is quite beyond my capacity! Thank the maker! This oil bath is going to feel so good. I’ve got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can barely move! It just isn’t fair. Oh, Biggs is right. I’m never gonna get out of here! Is there anything I might do to help? Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock! I don’t think so, sir. I’m only a droid and not very knowledgeable about such things.

You’re fortunate you’re still in one piece. Ben? Ben Kenobi! Boy, am I glad to see you! The Jundland wastes are not to be traveled lightly. Tell me young Luke, what brings you out this far? Oh, this little droid! I think he’s searching for his former master, I’ve never seen such devotion in a droid before…there seems to be no stopping him. He claims to be the property of an Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Are you sure this things safe? Lord Vader, I should have known. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit for this, when they hear you’ve attacked a diplomatic. Don’t play games with me, Your Highness.

You hear me, baby? Hold together! Got him! I got him! Great kid! Don’t get cocky. There are still two more of them out there! That’s it! We did it! We did it! Help! I think I’m melting! This is all your fault. Are they away? They have just made the jump into hyperspace. You’re sure the homing beacon is secure aboard their ship? I’m taking an awful risk, Vader.

Dinosaur Names: Dinoipsum

The lipsum_dino() function takes inspiration from the classic Lorem Ipsum in that it creates paragaphs of non-English text. However, instead of Latin, it fills the paragraphs with dinosaur names instead!

example_dino <-
  lipsum_dino(
    n_paras = 5L,
    n_words = 15L
  )

View Output

Crichtonsaurus Nomingia Denversaurus Walkeria Tapinocephalus Burianosaurus Asiaceratops Plesiohadros Nasutoceratops Guanlong Loricatosaurus Didanodon Tecovasaurus Silesaurus Arctosaurus.

Eucentrosaurus Platyceratops Tyrannotitan Arctosaurus Datanglong Camarillasaurus Alocodon Epachthosaurus Acantholipan Europasaurus Xianshanosaurus Yingshanosaurus Lametasaurus Ferganastegos Alnashetri.

Macrogryphosaurus Suchomimus Zizhongosaurus Chihuahuasaurus Vectensia Vulcanodon Arctosaurus Pararhabdodon Arizonasaurus Giganotosaurus Sinocoelurus Dyoplosaurus Dromaeosaurus Ammosaurus Yi.

Amtosaurus Bolong Zupaysaurus Centemodon Aletopelta Traukutitan Priodontognathus Caenagnathus Diceratus Microcoelus Nemegtomaia Lusitanosaurus Shaochilong Talenkauen Udanoceratops.

Scipionyx Lohuecotitan Archaeornis Cryptodraco Paronychodon Callovosaurus Isisaurus Bravoceratops Rugops Chasmosaurus Magnosaurus Pachyrhinosaurus Mahakala Jinzhousaurus Achillesaurus.

Random Words: Bacon & Hipsters

lipsum_bacon() and lipsum_hipster() are very similar in that their options are identical and simply (partly) replace the random Latin of lorem ipsum with meat words and hipster-y phrases, respectively.

example_meat <- lipsum_bacon(
  n_sentences = 5L,
  type = "all-meat",
  start_with_lorem = TRUE
)

example_hipster <- lipsum_hipster(
  n_sentences = 5L,
  type = "hipster-centric",
  start_with_lorem = TRUE
)

View Output

MEAT:

Bacon ipsum dolor amet jerky spare ribs jowl, burgdoggen shank ham hock doner salami chicken flank pig pork meatball alcatra ground round. Corned beef biltong hamburger flank. Buffalo ham sausage, rump tongue pastrami tail pork chop corned beef. Filet mignon strip steak sirloin porchetta. Ham turkey pork loin, tongue meatloaf pig capicola buffalo t-bone turducken ribeye.

HIPSTER:

I’m baby actually selfies +1, taiyaki trust fund seitan whatever gochujang pickled viral chicharrones narwhal leggings iPhone af. Snackwave fit offal, praxis franzen letterpress raw denim PBR&B jawn umami kogi big mood migas. Aesthetic stumptown lumbersexual 90’s tbh readymade seitan palo santo hexagon JOMO tousled chicharrones YOLO taiyaki quinoa. Narwhal craft beer actually fanny pack, next level chillwave bruh messenger bag gatekeep portland. Etsy ugh truffaut quinoa, unicorn praxis +1 same edison bulb kickstarter banh mi cloud bread disrupt affogato.

Rick and Morty Quotes: Loremricksum

The lipsum_rick() function returns paragraphs of random quotes from the adult animated comedy, Rick & Morty. Note that the output from this may contain obscenities, so is not reproduced here.

example_rick <-
  lipsum_rick(
    n_paras = 2L,
    n_sentences = 4L
  )